


should've left my phone at home

by fishcakes



Category: EXO (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - College/University, Drabble Collection, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mild Language, Texts From Last Night, tags will be updated when more chapters are added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-11
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-26 01:38:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6218521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fishcakes/pseuds/fishcakes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a collection of drabbles written based on texts from last night prompts sent in on tumblr.<br/>[tags and ships to be updated as more drabbles are added]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. (518): Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend? [xiulay]

kim jongdae chokes on his cereal. he chokes and he honestly wishes that he hadn’t asked yixing about what he’s been up to all weekend because god, if there’s anything he would like to _not_ know about his best friend, it was his sex life (with his amazing boyfriend aka jongdae’s superior at work aka oh god why was the world such a small place). “w-what?”

yixing smiles softly, like he always does, and pats the back of the younger male’s hand (the one that wasn’t thumping at his chest to make sure that none of his breakfast would kill him this fine morning). “i said ‘how was your weekend?’. are you okay? do you need some water?”

shaking his head, jongdae waves off the concern from the other male and focuses on the conversation (he really doesn’t want to know, and yet he still actually does). “why would you have sex in a blanket fort? why did the two of you even build a blanket fort? there’re perfectly amazing beds in minseok-hyung’s place! to sleep in, and to have sex in.” jongdae only knows this because of the one night he got incredibly (embarrassingly) wasted at his superior’s home. he has little to no memory about what had actually occured that night, apart from baekhyun and him declaring that they were going to take over the world. and that he might have fallen off minseok’s dining table after said declaration because byun baekhyun thought it would be great to shove him off since “we’re superheroes!”. and that he woke up the next morning with a horrid hangover (possibly made worst by him toppling off that table) in the most comfortable bed ever.

“hmmmm,” yixing takes his time in responding to his best friend, mostly because he likes watching the little ticks of impatience that jongdae never manages to hide. and also because it was fun to keep him hanging in anticipation. yixing could play ignorant if he wanted, to be honest. pretend that he didn’t comprehend what jongdae was asking and turn the conversation to something else but that would mean an annoyed and curious jongdae. an annoyed and curious jongdae who would never leave the issue alone even until their next standing breakfast date the following tuesday. “it’s fun. i’ve never made a blanket fort before and minseok-hyung thought it would be interesting. though i think we needed more blankets? the floor was a little hard and i think i’ve got bruises–”

kim jongdae chokes on his cereal (which he thought would be safe to consume again). he chokes and he coughs as loud as he can to drown out whatever it was zhang yixing was saying because really, _really_ , he didn’t want to know anything more about his best friend’s and his superior’s (how was jongdae going to look minseok in the eye at the office today?) sex life. honestly, really, just no. never again was he going to ask yixing how his weekend went. ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> super mild reference of sexy times (lol @ me for not being able to actually write sexy times) and this was obv more implied xiulay and outright xiulay. and ofc i would write brotp chenxing because i'm weak for chenxing all day every day.
> 
> set in a universe where they aren’t idols and minseok is jongdae’s superior at work.
> 
> alsooooo, feel free to send in your requests [here](http://petriichors.tumblr.com/post/140293914934/tfln-drabbles).


	2. (312): I rewarded myself with taco bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them. [yoonjin]

min yoongi thinks it’s a personal achievement that he hadn’t physically harmed his roommates this week, not even the slightest urge to smack the either of them on the head. small blessings for them because yoongi’s mastered the art of inflicting maximum pain with minimum effort, it’s something he’s extremely proud of. honestly, he should be feared by all.  (“i mean, small peppers are the spiciest, right? and you’re like tiny, hyung,” at least namjoon has the decency to hide his laughter behind him choking on his coffee, or maybe he might actually be choking. yoongi doesn’t give a shit because he’s occupied with lunging for hoseok’s neck. the tall bastard just laughs and bats his hands away.) and to make things even better, he hadn’t issued any death threats this week either, which was a very clear indication that the kids were staying in line without him needing to 1) stick his head out of his room every ten minutes to stop hoseok from screeching at the top of his lungs and 2) remind namjoon to stay the fuck out of the kitchen (“for fuck’s sake stop trying to kill us all by blowing the place up. we’re going to be homeless if another microwave explodes, goddammit.”). it was a good week, a peaceful week, where yoongi could actually finish a nine page paper without getting interrupted every five seconds.

it was a great achievement (level up, good job min yoongi, please claim your prize from your inbox) and min yoongi deserved to treat himself. 

* * *

 kim seokjin thinks yoongi’s the worst because yoongi’s the one who chose to live with both namjoon and hoseok despite seokjin asking him time and again if he was sure that he made the right choice in terms of roommates. plus he’s pretty sure that both namjoon and hoseok were hardly around the shared apartment the whole of this week. hoseok had an upcoming dance showcase which meant he was at the studio 20 hours a day or something. (he was pretty sure jimin was exaggerating. …or at least he hopes jimin’s exaggerating.) namjoon, on the other hand, had been camped out in either the graduate’s library or over at seokjin’s stressing out over his impending finals (“two papers back to back on a day, hyung. who the fuck thought it would be a great idea to schedule them like that? fuck.”). somehow yoongi had failed to notice the absence of his roommates, and seokjin was pretty sure yoongi didn’t need to know about how he couldn’t get mad at people who weren’t around to begin with.

“since you’re so set on taco bell, why are you here, yoongi-ah?” here was the quiet bookstore squashed between a starbucks and a cvs, dull and inconspicuous to anyone and everyone. (yoongi didn’t even know it existed until jimin dragged him in once to say hi to seokjin. what the fuck, seokjin was his best friend/boyfriend/special friend and he didn’t even know where the older male worked.). business was slow and it was boring but it was close to the campus and the owners were friendly, which was why seokjin worked at said bookstore, spending his time rearranging books, wiping down shelves and smiling at the girls who come by to stare at him.

“i got my taco bell and i finished it all,” cue the usual smug grin that yoongi always had on, seokjin doesn’t even have to look at him to know that the younger male has that expression on. he has it imprinted in his memory over the years of being on the receiving end of that smile. obviously the three month difference in age didn’t mean a thing to min yoongi, not when he was the younger one between the two of them. age only mattered when yoongi had the advantage of being older, he was all about leverage. “i’m just here to boast about how i’m a great roommate, the best roommate namjoon and hoseok could ever ask for.”

seokjin snorts and ignores the indignant ‘hey!’ from the younger male, pulling out their collection of jane austen from their place on the shelf at the back. saturday were dusting days. “from what i’ve been hearing for the past year, you don’t sound like the best. in fact, i think namjoon mentioned something about ‘worst ever’, ‘left an indent on my skull’ and ‘doesn’t even do the dishes’.”

“yeah, yeah, yeah,” he shrugs off the comments. been there, done that, he’s heard namjoon say the same thing to anyone who would listen (recently it’s jimin who smiles brightly and pats namjoon on the pat with a “it’s okay, you’re still really smart even though there’s a dent in your head, hyung.”). the thought that there was an indent on namjoon’s skull from him flicking him on the head one time too many only makes him prouder (another achievement unlocked, good job min yoongi.) “you’ll only know how great i am if you actually live with me.”

the stack of austen falls over when seokjin turns to stare at yoongi who was still casually leaning on the store’s only shelf of sci-fi. “wait, what? wait. are you asking me to move in with you?“

“fuck no,” he grimaces before taking a step forward, ignoring the fallen books as he gets closer to seokjin. “let me move in with you, trade jungkook out. i bet the brat would rather live with the other two brats in my place.”

seokjin frowns at him because 1) jungkook loves living with him, especially since kim seokjin was The Model Roommate, 2) yoongi might have kicked one of the books (he thinks it might be Sense and Sensibility) by accident but still, a book was harmed and 3) this was the most unromantic way yoongi could have asked to move in with him. “min yoongi, you come into my workplace with your breath smelling of taco bell, saving none for me, by the way, to boast about how you’re the best roommate in the world because you didn’t murder your roommates this week. then you mentioned moving into my house and kicking jungkook out within the same statement.”

“yeah…? i mean, unless you want to the kid to know how loud–”

the older male squeaks, arms flailing about in embarrassment. “min yoongi, you’re the worst. the absolute worst, oh my god,” seokjin covers his face (completely red and still so so adorable), muffling his words. “i can’t believe i love you.”

“so… is that a yes?”

he lowers his hands to glare at yoongi (lips curled into usual smug grin of his, now leaning on the empty shelf. seokjin can’t decided whether he want to smack him or kiss him). “buy me some taco bell and then we’ll talk.” 

* * *

(seokjin gets his taco bell, yoongi gets to move in. jungkook tries to stick around the apartment for a week before hightailing it to move in with namjoon and hoseok because god, both seokjin and yoongi were loud as hell and he didn’t sign up to listen to sex noises.

“hoseok hyung, it was so bad, i swear. i still hear echoes of it.”

“if it’s any comfort to you, namjoonie and jiminnie are pretty quiet when they’re doing it. well, that’s until jimin’s–”

jungkook groans and smacks his head against their dining table.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this grew from a simple drabble to an actual kinda fic, i am weeping. boyfriends!yoonjin makes me weak and also mild nammin because i couldn’t help myself. probably set in a university!au though it’s not really stated as such.
> 
> (ps. [tfln requests](http://petriichors.tumblr.com/post/140293914934/tfln-drabbles) are still open~)


	3. (716): I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality. [taegi]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mild cursing ahead because how can yoongi not curse, especially when taetae does silly stuff. also i have no idea what this is but let’s roll with it. ps. daegu line makes me squeal.
> 
> alsooooo, feel free to send in your requests [here](http://petriichors.tumblr.com/post/140293914934/tfln-drabbles).

there are many things that min yoongi puts up with when it comes to sharing an apartment with kim taehyung.

he puts up with the fact that there is dog fur everywhere (like literally everywhere: on the couch, on his bed, on the floor, in his clothes. everywhere.) because living with the younger male means living with one very fluffy soonshim who sheds a lot. (he honestly doesn’t mind living with the dog though because soonshim is warm and comfortable and so goddamn lovable even if she takes up half his bed when taehyung has an early day.) he puts up with the late weeknight and random weekend saxophone practices because that’s the only times taehyung has to practice due to a packed academic and work schedule. he puts up with the t-shirts (including his favourite t-shirt, for fuck’s sake, kim taehyung.) and sweatshirts that taehyung had sliced slits and holes into, claiming that it’s “high fashion, hyung. trust me!”. he puts up with taehyung putting things on the highest shelves which he can’t really reach without the step stool he bought since taehyung’s a little shit that doesn’t listen when yoongi tells him time and time again that middle shelves was the limit for communal belongings.. he puts up with the experimental korean cuisine when taehyung decides to take control of the kitchen (“gochujang is the essence of cooking. seokjin-hyung is a liar.”) he puts up with the complete lack of personal space because there’s no such thing when it comes to taehyung who somehow finds a way to have an arm (or leg) wrapped around yoongi when they’re situated side by side.

he puts up with taehyung because jimin was on the verge of begging for him to take taehyung in as a roommate at the start of the year when the younger male had missed out on dormitory registrations and “he’s my best friend, hyung. please, please, please.” (“alright, alright. stop whining already.”) he puts up with taehyung because for all the mess and annoyance the younger male brings to him, taehyung radiates determination and optimism and he’d be lying if he said that he hadn’t been affected by the younger male’s mindset. he puts up with a lot of things because taehyung reminds him of daegu, taehyung reminds him of a home that’s miles and miles away, of a family that gave him the encouragement to move out to seoul to chase his dreams.

so when he arrives home, only to be greeted by the sight of a naked leg draped over the couch cushion, yoongi wonders if taehyung expects him to put up with him going without pants. and if taehyung did, he was so wrong because there’s no way in hell yoongi would ever be okay with taehyung wandering around the house with nothing covering up his embarrassing boxers collection. (soonshim hadn’t run out to the door to welcome him home, probably hiding in his room out of embarrassment of her owner. yoongi’s envious of how easy it was for her to avoid the sight of one kim taehyung in spongebob squarepants boxers.)

“where the fuck are your pants?” crossing his arms when he stops next to his roommate’s leg, he glares down at a pants-less taehyung who grins back like his lack of bottoms was a typical occurrence in their house. (it wasn’t, not even when they got drunk off their asses.)

“hyung!” taehyung scrambles to pull himself up, leg nearly colliding with the side of yoongi’s head as he withdraws it and arms narrowly missing yoongi’s face as he pulls the older male into a one-sided hug. “i have no reason to put on pants anymore, i’m done with school forever!”

“you mean you’re done with school for this semester,” yoongi snorts and tries to tug himself out of the circle of taehyung’s arms (an actual struggle that he loses because fuck, taehyung was strong.)  “you know you have a two week break, right?“

ignoring the older male’s question, taehyung pulls back to face him with a serious look on his face. “hyung, what do you say to a pants-free house? we should embrace the freedom from the societal need of staying clothed. our house, our rules.”

“fuck no,” yoongi wrinkles his nose, taking the moment of taehyung’s honest disappointment to pull away from the younger male. “our house, _my_ rules. embarrassing underwear stays hidden, pants all the time.”


	4. (770): I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary. [taegi]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> side!nammin in this drabble~ there be some (cough a lot of) f-bombs ahead but ofc there would be f-bombs whenever i write yoongi, but all the more when the idea of forgotten anniversaries (fake or otherwise) come into play.
> 
> alsooooo, feel free to send in your requests [here](http://petriichors.tumblr.com/post/140293914934/tfln-drabbles).

 

  **taetae [2:41PM]** : you suck. i’m locking you out of the house.

 **myg **[2:41PM]**** : what the fuck  
**myg **[2:41PM]**** : i’m older than you, brat.

 **taetae **[2:41PM]**** : you suck, hyung.  
**taetae **[2:42PM]**** : i’m still locking you out.  
**taetae **[2:42PM]**** : hyung.

 **myg **[2:42PM]**** : i repeat, what the fuck  
**myg **[2:42PM]**** : i’ll just go to jin-hyung’s?  
**myg **[2:43PM]**** : fucking pay attention in class.

 

* * *

 

yoongi frowns at his phone. “what the fuck?”

jimin leans over, tugging the elder’s phone out from his hand to read the exchange between. “did you forget to get him a gift?”

“why the fuck do i have to get him a gift? it’s not his damn birthday.”

the younger male sighs, handing yoongi’s phone over to namjoon. he shakes his head as though he’s dealing with a disobedient child (sometimes yoongi acts like one so nobody can really blame jimin) “it’s your anniversary. i’m pretty sure taehyung would have mentioned it at least a million times over the week.” 

yoongi stares back at him with a blank look.

“…you forgot. hyung, what the hell?“

“i can’t believe he’s mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary,” namjoon pipes in from beside jimin, resting a hand on his boyfriend’s shoulder to keep him on the couch and tossing yoongi’s phone back to him with the other (he misses and the shot falls shorts, yoongi’s phone ends up bouncing on the carpet of their studio. “fuck you, namjoon.”)

“uhh, this is taetae we’re talking about. he can get mad at anyone for anything if he wanted to.” jimin shrugs. “remember that time he almost strangled joonie-hyung for drinking the last bottle of banana milk?“

“hey, that was one time! and i bought him more.” yoongi’s pretty sure he threw up a little in his mouth when he glances up from his phone (no new messages. at least it seemed like taehyung was paying attention in class) to see jimin cooing at and comforting a pouting namjoon. gross.

a series of chimes had the two separating (thank god, yoongi thinks to himself) and glancing at their phones. the fact that both jimin and namjoon starts chuckling should serve as an indication about what he should expect to see on his own phone.

 

* * *

 

_**taetae** changed the group name to“ **ban min yoongi!!!** ”_

**taetae** to ****ban min yoongi!!!** **[3:09PM]**** : attention all, min yoongi is a jerk who forgets anniversaries and i’m locking him out.  
**taetae** to ******ban min yoongi!!!**** **[3:09PM]**** : under no circumstance is anyone allowed to 1) unlock the door and 2) provide him refuge.  
**taetae** to ******ban min yoongi!!!**** **[3:09PM]**** : i know you’re reading this, yoongi-hyung!!!

“it’s my apartment. he can’t lock me out of my apartment.” tossing his phone aside for now, the blonde turns back to his console. there were more important _real_ things he had to deal with, like the half written melody that wove its way around his mind.

jimin snorts, typing out a quick acknowledgement to taehyung’s chain of warning texts as he leans back against namjoon. “cute. you better start thinking about how to make it up to taehyung. because knowing him, it’s highly likely you’ll be sitting out in the cold tonight.”

“yeah right.”


	5. (352): To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth. [namjin]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have no idea where i was going with this but joonie, you’re gonna have to work harder to feed the kids.

when seokjin entrusted namjoon with the task of getting food in the absence of yoongi (who had once again conveniently lost his phone in the mess that was his workroom, thus freeing himself from all forms of contact), he should have remembered that there was a reason yoongi (or anyone but namjoon) was in charge of food.

“where is it?”

“where’s what?”

seokjin reminds himself to be patient, and that namjoon was someone who was very useful despite his clumsiness and occasional forgetfulness. he wasn’t even going to mention the sometimes bad fashion choices, nope. namjoon was flawed like every other human and seokjin was starting to think that he had the patience of an actual god. “the food i told you to get for us.”

“oh, food,” he glances around before lowing his voice down to a whisper. “i have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. no one knows. i am pro stealth.”

“…joonie, there are six of us here. four of which are starving.“

“okay, are you one of the four or…?”

“that’s not the point here!” if looks could kill, namjoon is pretty sure that he would drop dead right here right now because wow, seokjin was really scary when he was angry. and hungry. okay, he admits that getting just two poptarts wasn’t the best idea.

“i’m sorry…? do you want something else? i can grab two chocolate bars, they’ll fit in my jacket pockets!”

“no, joonie, no. i don’t– two of anything isn’t going to be enough for all of us,” seokjin’s frown deepens as he shakes his head. “joonie, sit down. seok-ah, jiminnie and you are in charge of food now. namjoon didn’t get anything–”

“i did! i told you, two poptarts in my pocket, pro-stealth–”

rolling his eyes, the eldest waves the two towards the door. “i stand corrected. he didn’t get anything to _feed_ _everyone_. please save us.”

* * *

even without turning to look, seokjin’s pretty sure namjoon is pouting right now.

“i tried,” the younger male whines as he pokes at his pockets.

“i know,” he leans towards namjoon, fingers wrapping around the other’s wrist. “now give me those poptarts before i starve to death.”


End file.
